OMGWTF YOU WERE DEAD

[gogmagog]

The sucky thing about having people visit when you're finally used to living on your own? Because then you get used to having other people around again, and then they leave and you're all, "well, GREAT. Now I'm lonely. >_<"

Anyway, my folks left today. In order to distract myself, I gave the "twelve characters" meme another try (LJ ate the first one). So, here goes.

First, write down the names of 12 characters. Then read and answer the questions.
You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use.

My picks:
1. Cliff Fittir (Star Ocean Till the End of Time)
2. Ginji Amano (GetBackers)
3. Tatsuya Suou (Persona 2)
4. Flonne (Disgaea)
5. Maya Amano (Persona 2)
6. Anya (Buffy)
7. Jun Kurosu (Persona 2)
8. Katsuya Suou (Persona 2)
9. Jack Russell (Radiata Stories)
10. Cordelia Chase (Buffy/Angel)
11. Lilah Morgan (Angel)
12. Ban Mido (GetBackers)

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven (Anya/Lilah) fic? Do you want to?
No, never seen one, but someone should TOTALLY write it. enkiae~ you know you want to~~

Do you think Four (Flonne) is hot? How hot?
Well, I don't think anyone would describe Flonne as hot (well, okay, anyone except for the wackos that do Etna/Flonne/Archer doujinshi), but she's cute. Like a puppy. But dude, she looks about twelve, there's no way she's HOT. x_x

What would happen if Twelve (Ban) got Eight (Katsuya) pregnant?
Holy shit, but this would be some funny mpreg to see. Um, Katsuya would be all having mood swings (police brutality, yo) and making chocolate cakes for himself (because he's eating for two!). Ban would be acting all irritated but secretly very solicitous of Katsuya.

Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Jack)?
Well, Radiata Stories just came out, so not yet. (But give the fangirls and fanboys time, and there'll be a zillion.)

Would Two (Ginji) and Six (Anya) make a good couple?
Actually, I think they would (if, y'know, Ginji weren't gay). Anya's proven she likes the dippy tard with a heart of gold type, and unlike Xander Ginji would actually be nice to her.

Five/Nine (Maya/Jack) or Five/Ten? (Maya/Cordelia) Why?
Er, wow, I can't really see either of these happening. XD

But if I had to, I'd say Maya and Jack because they're both kind of happy-go-lucky positive people, and would probably like each other (as friends, if nothing more). Maya and Cordy, on the other hand, I can't see getting along AT ALL. Maya doesn't deal well with bitchy women, and Maya's way too flaky for Cordy. XD

What would happen if Seven (Jun) walked in on Two (Ginji) and Twelve (Ban) having sex?
Err...he'd tiptoe out quietly, then go home horny and pounce on Tatsuya. XD

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Tatsuya/Cordelia) fic.
Holy shit! Er... XD
"Crossover, Tatsuya/Cordy. What happens when newly ascended Cordelia finds herself the "guardian angel" to an angsty Japanese teenager trying to save the world? R&R PLZ OR I WONT RITE ANYMOR"

Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Cliff/Katsuya) fluff?
Er, not that I'm aware of. If there were, it would involve Katsuya baking some yummy confection for Cliff, and Cliff being all "you shouldn't have" but secretly squeeing (but in a manly way) inside. XD

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Jun/Ban) hurt/comfort fic.
"More Psycho Than Thou"?

What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Flonne) to deflower One (Cliff)?
Dood. XD

Er, several thousand years in the future Flonne has grown into a beautiful young woman (who's finally finished puberty). She travels out of the Netherworld and to one of the nearby planets, Klaus. There she meets a young Klausian named Cliff (pre-SO3), and decides to show him why she's called the "Love Freak." XD

Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Jun) slash?
Well, given that a large portion of my flist are Persona fans, and Tatsuya/Jun is actually CANON, yeah. XD

Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Tatsuya) het?
Probably (Tatsuya/Maya), though I think most of them tend to favor Tatsuya/Jun.

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Lilah)?
OMG enkiae MORE MADAME MYSTERIA PLZ

Could anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Ginji/Flonne/Maya)?
There are several people who COULD. (And SHOULD.) OMGTHEIRLOVEISSOGENKI

What might Ten (Cordelia) scream at a moment of great passion
Er, "Angel"? (Yes, I'm a Cordy/Angel shipper.)

If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Katsuya), which song would you choose?
"You Don't See Me," from Josie and the Pussycats. (Yes, I am also a Maya/Katsuya shipper, if she'd just NOTICE HIM DAMMIT.)

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve (Cliff/Anya/Ban) fic, what would the warnings be?
Crossover, NC-17, female dominant. XD

What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Ginji) to use on Ten (Cordelia)?
Well, first of all, Ginji is incapable of using a good pickup line on a girl (as we've seen), and second he's in love with Ban, but if he did need to pick her up for whatever reason I imagine it would go something like this:

"You look kinda down...I know, I'll buy you a drink! Oh, but I don't have any money...maybe you could lend it to me? I'll pay you back, I promise!"

When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Maya)?
Er, several months ago? To be honest, there's not much Persona fic out there. ;_;

What is Six's (Anya) super-sekrit kink?
She secretly likes midgets with bunny ears. XD

Would Eleven (Lilah) shag Nine (Jack)? Drunk or sober?
Oh, totally, if she thought it would help recruit him to Wolfram and Hart. Lilah has mentioned before (with regards to Connor) that she wouldn't mind doing a Mrs. Robinson thing, and Jack's so innocent and so used to being out-thought and bullied by tough women that she wouldn't have to do much. It might help if he were drunk though.

If Three (Tatsuya) and Seven (Jun) get together, who tops?
If, kemosabe? XD

Anyway, Tatsuya tops most of the time, but every once in a while when Jun is in a particularly psychotic mood he pulls out the S&M gear and tops Tacchan. XD

"One (Cliff) and Nine (Jack) are in a happy relationship until Nine (Jack) suddenly runs off with Four (Flonne). One (Cliff), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven (Lilah) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve (Ban), then follows the wise advice of Five (Maya) and finds true love with Three (Tatsuya)." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Er, I dunno..."Looking for Mr. Angstbar"? As for who would read it - let's say jokersama, shinkun and angrybabble. As for who should write it...Puuke~~

How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Jun/Katsuya) was canon?
NOOOO, Jun can't throw over Tatsuya for his elder brother! OMG TATSUJUN 4EVA!!!!1! (Plus, it would mean that Tatsuya and Maya would have to console each other, which could get kinda incestuous in spirit if not in letter.)

In other retarded fannish news, I finally watched Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Goddammit, Squeenix, you should have at least bought me dinner first so that I could respect myself in the morning. I feel so...used.

OK, in summary: Cloud is gay, angsty and crazy; Reno and Rude are also gay (but are also HILARIOUS); everyone who survived to the end of Final Fantasy VII comes back out of nowhere; everyone who died in Final Fantasy VII except for Random Monster Goblin #224 also comes back to life out of nowhere; there's a lot of wanky game references that make me go "yay"; there's lots of advertising for cellphones; there's lots of beautiful fight sequences; and Cloud is molested. The story (ha, what story?) makes no sense, and every five seconds I was going "OMGWTF WHY IS SO-AND-SO THERE/WHY ISN'T SO-AND-SO DEAD/WHERE DID THOSE MAD MATRIX SKILLZ COME FROM/WHAT THE HELL DOES THE WOLF MEAN". (The answer to that last question, by the way, is that the wolf represents Cloud's deep-seated repressed desire to get it on with Red XIII. Honest.)

I've gotta say the best part are the fight sequences, unrealistic and poorly-thought-out as they are (as jokersama pointed out, the fact that Yuffie and Tifa and the rest have such mad superhuman fighting skillz kind of diminishes from the SPESHULNESS of Cloud, Vincent, and all the other freaks who actually ARE superhuman). Given that I'm far from an Aeris fan, the worst part was definitely having to deal with Saint Aeris the Wonderful, who manages to create a healing spring and work miracles (literally). And as if that weren't enough, she seemingly COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER MAJOR CHARACTER WHO DIED IN FF7.

Which brings me to another pet peeve. (Stop reading if you don't want to know who else comes back. And don't get on me for spoiling Aeris, because if you didn't believe they were going to bring her back in this YOU ARE STUPID.) I was pretty much expecting them to bring Aeris and Sephiroth back, which was no biggie. But not only that, they brought back Tseng (who not only died, but whose body was left inside the Temple of the Ancients which then became the Black Materia), Zack and Rufus (who was in a building that was BLOWN UP by Diamond Weapon, if I recall correctly).

...I'm just wondering, are they going to dub this for American release? And if so, are they going to use the Kingdom Hearts VAs? Because Kim Possible as Yuffie, Lance Bass as Sephiroth and Mandy Moore as Aeris = TEH WIN. I can see the GameFAQs flamewars already. >D

And speaking of VAs, jokersama pointed out that Kadaj's is Morikubo Showtaro, aka Ginji from GetBackers. XD

Anyway, some links that are appropriate to go along with the above review - a delightful movie poster for Advent Children, and a set of parody subtitles for AC as well. (Both are from the delightful jokersama.)

Comments

[firestorm717.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thanks for the parody subs. I seriously need to rewatch and write like a play-by-play snark comments because I was yelling at the screen the whole time ;;;

Yeah...the bringing back of everyone and anyone was kind of deus ex machina to the max. I swear, it was a serious advertisement for their upcoming games. Other than Cloud, look at who got the most on-screen time? Vincent. Reno and Rude. Not to mention cell phones - and there is that Turks cell phone spinoff game coming out. Vincent's going to be in Dirge of Cerberus. A not-so-subtle way of dragging in fans, heh. And sadly, it will probably work as I drool over it.

Cross between Matrix and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon XD. Tossing Cloud up, WTF. I actually liked Tifa's fight scene the best, esp the way it ended with Loz's cell, lol. Nobody ever actually died on-screen...I mean, you never saw Tseng or Rufus's corpses, so I guess it follows the old movie maxim - if they don't find a body, they're assumed to be sequel fodder.

[yoshitsune.livejournal.com]

Well, but Tseng was pretty much a goner when you ran into him on the way out of the Temple of the Ancients. So from him to survive, somehow someone from Shinra would have had to dash into the temple, bypass your party, and get Tseng out, again somehow bypassing your party, in the time it took for your characters to cross like three screens. XD

[firestorm717.livejournal.com]

Wait, but wasn't he at the entrance to the temple? Maybe while you were battling the boss or tied up with Aeris, he somehow got out. Though still, even if he lived, randomly getting tortured by Kadaj and then saved by Vincent only to appear at the nick of time to save Rufus is a LITTLE too much to believe.