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gogmagogWhy is this Star Wars fanfic so cathartic to read when grading? ...oh yeah, because Darth Maul is a Sith composition teacher who a) has to deal with regular TA duties (so I can identify), and b) is evil, and can afford to flunk everyone and/or make them drop the class. :D
A few choice excerpts:
Maul opted for the most random method of assigning grades he could think of. He tossed the papers in the air, watched as they fell in a scatter pattern on the floor, and randomly chose piles to represent each of the grades he wanted to assign. Of the 30 papers he had received, 5 got F's. He double-checked to make sure there were no consistent characteristics in that pile. Then, he moved on to the 6 D minuses, doing the same. He quickly searched for Obi-Wan's paper, making sure it had not been in either group. For his plan to work, Kenobi needed to be in the top half of the class from the outset.
If only it were that easy. ;_;
Maul, in hour nine of fifteen, was beginning to wonder why he had ever bothered with that damn Master's degree. If he had to read one more paper that opened with that trite introduction it seemed every saccharine Jedi Padawan had sucked up from somewhere--"Since the dawn of time, Jedi have wrestled with the most important paradoxes in the universe"--he would surely slice and dice them into bite-size tidbits. He wondered what recipe he had at home that called for so much Jedi meat. His anger, now finely honed, caused the edges of his current conferencee's paper to erupt into flames. The terrified and panicked student dumped her decaf coffee on it to put the flames out.
...This has been me in past semesters. Hell, this has been me at times during this semester. Also the SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME thing is unfortunately all too true. D:
Needless to say, I'm writing up speech comments. This group of speeches was actually pretty good; I'm almost looking forward to enjoyably bad papers again in the fall, since papers tend to be so much more atrocious than speeches, and it's been a while since I had a good teaching story. (My last one was the John Brown/James Brown mixup, and that was a full year ago now.)
A few choice excerpts:
Maul opted for the most random method of assigning grades he could think of. He tossed the papers in the air, watched as they fell in a scatter pattern on the floor, and randomly chose piles to represent each of the grades he wanted to assign. Of the 30 papers he had received, 5 got F's. He double-checked to make sure there were no consistent characteristics in that pile. Then, he moved on to the 6 D minuses, doing the same. He quickly searched for Obi-Wan's paper, making sure it had not been in either group. For his plan to work, Kenobi needed to be in the top half of the class from the outset.
If only it were that easy. ;_;
Maul, in hour nine of fifteen, was beginning to wonder why he had ever bothered with that damn Master's degree. If he had to read one more paper that opened with that trite introduction it seemed every saccharine Jedi Padawan had sucked up from somewhere--"Since the dawn of time, Jedi have wrestled with the most important paradoxes in the universe"--he would surely slice and dice them into bite-size tidbits. He wondered what recipe he had at home that called for so much Jedi meat. His anger, now finely honed, caused the edges of his current conferencee's paper to erupt into flames. The terrified and panicked student dumped her decaf coffee on it to put the flames out.
...This has been me in past semesters. Hell, this has been me at times during this semester. Also the SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME thing is unfortunately all too true. D:
Needless to say, I'm writing up speech comments. This group of speeches was actually pretty good; I'm almost looking forward to enjoyably bad papers again in the fall, since papers tend to be so much more atrocious than speeches, and it's been a while since I had a good teaching story. (My last one was the John Brown/James Brown mixup, and that was a full year ago now.)
