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Semi-quick update
Jun. 25th, 2003 06:20 pmIt seems like everything's ending all at once, from the minor (Buffy) to the major (my time in England) to the massively life-changing (my dad's death). It's really depressing. And especially those last two...I've been trying to keep as busy as I can, trying to clean my room or read or something. It's because when I actually allow myself to think about my life as it stands - the fact that I'll never talk to my dad again, that it'll probably be YEARS before I can spend any meaningful amount of time in England again - I just feel incredibly depressed, in a weighty, almost palpable way.
It doesn't help that I can't really adjust to my life back here. In addition to all the upheaval surrounding my dad's death, my room's being used as a de facto storage facility by my mom and stepdad. My bed's gone, half my room is taken up with their stuff, and I can't get around the other half of my room because it's jam-packed with the full roomful of stuff I had there before I left. And there was quite a bit...my room was none too clean when I left. ^_^;
But basically, I'm sleeping on the chaise longue because they got rid of my bed, and I can't really feel normal without my room being, y'know, MY ROOM. Not to mention that I can't get to my desktop computer. ;_;
BTW, sorry I haven't been commenting on folks' entries lately - I haven't been getting much of a chance to look at my Friends page. See, now I'm back to dial-up with no separate phone line. So basically, I can't stay online for too long. I've been on every day at least long enough to check my e-mail and whether my friends from England are on MSN, but that's about it. I do think I'm going to install AOL on my laptop, though, so I can get online late at night when no one needs to worry about phone calls.
I do wish I could get in touch with my friends in England more...the time difference really screws things up. It's not that bad on always-on broadband, but with limited time of dial-up I can't really wait until they get online like I could before. ;_;
But anyway, once I get AOL installed on my laptop, I'll not only be able to keep up more regular entries, but I'll also have the online time to read other people's! :D
It doesn't help that I can't really adjust to my life back here. In addition to all the upheaval surrounding my dad's death, my room's being used as a de facto storage facility by my mom and stepdad. My bed's gone, half my room is taken up with their stuff, and I can't get around the other half of my room because it's jam-packed with the full roomful of stuff I had there before I left. And there was quite a bit...my room was none too clean when I left. ^_^;
But basically, I'm sleeping on the chaise longue because they got rid of my bed, and I can't really feel normal without my room being, y'know, MY ROOM. Not to mention that I can't get to my desktop computer. ;_;
BTW, sorry I haven't been commenting on folks' entries lately - I haven't been getting much of a chance to look at my Friends page. See, now I'm back to dial-up with no separate phone line. So basically, I can't stay online for too long. I've been on every day at least long enough to check my e-mail and whether my friends from England are on MSN, but that's about it. I do think I'm going to install AOL on my laptop, though, so I can get online late at night when no one needs to worry about phone calls.
I do wish I could get in touch with my friends in England more...the time difference really screws things up. It's not that bad on always-on broadband, but with limited time of dial-up I can't really wait until they get online like I could before. ;_;
But anyway, once I get AOL installed on my laptop, I'll not only be able to keep up more regular entries, but I'll also have the online time to read other people's! :D
