I started off a crazy kid, miracle I made it through the things I did

[gogmagog]

Well, the incomplete was OK'ed - my professor just wants it by the first day of classes next semester, which I'm perfectly happy to concur with (I want it done by then too!). So break will be less restful than I would have liked, but y'know, whatever.

On the plus side, my grading is DONE and turned in. I survived my first semester teaching, w00t! I will admit I was helped along by this story about Darth Maul teaching freshman comp. XD

However, two of my students attached...odd things to their papers. For some reason, one included a photocopy of his insurance card at the end of his final paper (why? I DON'T KNOW); the other included the entire five-page syllabus for another, completely unrelated, geography class (...) at the end of his. WEIRD.

Anyway, tomorrow I leave for three weeks of family holiday togetherness at home. Here's hoping all goes well. I'm not looking forward to the drama I'm afraid will ensue, and to top things off I found out from my mom the other day that apparently she has to have several biopsies done for a suspicious something that showed up during her pap smear. She's got two more doctor's visits for it after I get home, and of course I'll go with her for support. So much for any hope of a restful break, though. D:

jokersama: oh you know!
jokersama: I learned something disturbing/hilarious/disturbing about bleeding and virginity the other day!
yoshitsune: what? :D
jokersama: (now, imagine this being told by a middle-aged child abuse specialist XD;)
jokersama: well, see, everyone assumes that when you lose your virginity you bleed because the dude punches through your hymen like someone breaking the tape at the finish line XD
jokersama: but actually, that's not true
jokersama: yosi, you'll actually understand this analogy!
jokersama: before puberty, before you get all estrogen-charged
jokersama: your hymen is delicate like pie crust dough.
jokersama: when you hit puberty, the hymen gets estrogenized and it becomes more like pizza dough!
enkiae: all ready for the guy to eat
jokersama: well, if you've ever tried to deal with the two types of dough you'll know the fundamental difference XD
yoshitsune: ...yes XD
yoshitsune: only that's not pizza sauce!
jokersama: but basically, most girls don't bleed if they lose their virginity after puberty because the hymen just accomodates usually; like they did a study when they examined the hymens of PREGNANT 13-15-year-olds and they're intact-looking o_o
jokersama: you only have blood as proof of virginity if, as in the middle ages
jokersama: you're a 30-year-old banging your 11-year-old bride.
jokersama: pie crust XD
yoshitsune: so is it supposed to be flaky?
jokersama: well it comes to bits, basically XD
jokersama: and tears easily
yoshitsune: and doesn't take well to over-kneading?
jokersama: like phyllo!
jokersama: exactly!
yoshitsune: so no sticking your rolling pin into it!
yoshitsune: just don't tell the fanfic authors!
yoshitsune: I don't want to see the descriptions of sex then
yoshitsune: "he punched through her hymen like an italian chef poking a hole in pizza dough"
yoshitsune: "sakura screamed as fujitaka's rolling pin kneaded the pie-crust of her hymen into bloody flakes"
enkiae: Yosi
yoshitsune: "'does that "phyllo" you up, sakura?' he asked, smiling evilly"
jokersama: XDDDDDDDDDDDD
enkiae: does it now explain Buffy's strange cookie dough analogy?
jokersama: god, yosi, you and your bakery porn XD

And for all y'all, the best Christmas special EVAR (from eslington). DUN-NUH-NUH-NUH DUN-NUH-NUH-NUH BAT-SANTA!