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OK, I am making this post to say something I'm ashamed of.
I want to go see Catwoman.
Now, this isn't to say that I think it will be a good film...far from it, I think it will put the "ass" in "embarrassing." I mean, the "dominatrix slash ASPCA head battles evil cosmetic company" plot sounds horrific, Halle's costume is the pinnacle of suck and looks like something Christina Aguilera rejected as being too trashy, and who the fuck fights evil in open-toed spike-heeled boots?! I mean, hell, the official MPAA classification rates it PG-13 for "Violence and S&M gear."
Still, I want to see it simply because it seems SO INCREDIBLY bad that it'll give me snark material for the next decade. I mean, how can you NOT want to see a movie with quotes like "Kitty want whip now" and "Cream. Straight up." And I'm legal in 5 days, which means I can go see it trashed (which, hey, is the way it's obviously meant to be seen)!
I think this FameTracker poster's summary says it all:
This movie actually looks pretty good. And empowering. Let me stop lying.
Ok, so Catwoman is fighting crime. Against a megalomaniacal cosmetics maven? Who probably has some nefarious designs to alter the contents of products used by teenage girls! Seriously, if left unchecked, the results of this villain's schemes could be disastrous. Girls thinking they're buying purple Bonne Bell lip gloss only to discover that it's actually lavender! That shit's not funny. And must be stopped. Who's gonna do it? That's right. Catwoman. Right after she finishes licking cream and prowling the streets in her Frederick's of Hollywood rip-off hooker outfit.
Be careful with those kicks, Catwoman! You don't want to muss your pedicure through your open-toed shoes!
Someone needs to be put in prison for making this piece of crap.
( More secondhand snark on Catwoman )
Edit: Some funny links...
- Halle Berry's stunt double was actually a guy. There's even pictures! XD
- Rotten Tomatoes has quite a few Catwoman reviews up...they're negative. (DAISHOKKU!!!1!)
I want to go see Catwoman.
Now, this isn't to say that I think it will be a good film...far from it, I think it will put the "ass" in "embarrassing." I mean, the "dominatrix slash ASPCA head battles evil cosmetic company" plot sounds horrific, Halle's costume is the pinnacle of suck and looks like something Christina Aguilera rejected as being too trashy, and who the fuck fights evil in open-toed spike-heeled boots?! I mean, hell, the official MPAA classification rates it PG-13 for "Violence and S&M gear."
Still, I want to see it simply because it seems SO INCREDIBLY bad that it'll give me snark material for the next decade. I mean, how can you NOT want to see a movie with quotes like "Kitty want whip now" and "Cream. Straight up." And I'm legal in 5 days, which means I can go see it trashed (which, hey, is the way it's obviously meant to be seen)!
I think this FameTracker poster's summary says it all:
This movie actually looks pretty good. And empowering. Let me stop lying.
Ok, so Catwoman is fighting crime. Against a megalomaniacal cosmetics maven? Who probably has some nefarious designs to alter the contents of products used by teenage girls! Seriously, if left unchecked, the results of this villain's schemes could be disastrous. Girls thinking they're buying purple Bonne Bell lip gloss only to discover that it's actually lavender! That shit's not funny. And must be stopped. Who's gonna do it? That's right. Catwoman. Right after she finishes licking cream and prowling the streets in her Frederick's of Hollywood rip-off hooker outfit.
Be careful with those kicks, Catwoman! You don't want to muss your pedicure through your open-toed shoes!
Someone needs to be put in prison for making this piece of crap.
( More secondhand snark on Catwoman )
Edit: Some funny links...
- Halle Berry's stunt double was actually a guy. There's even pictures! XD
- Rotten Tomatoes has quite a few Catwoman reviews up...they're negative. (DAISHOKKU!!!1!)
